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Here’s How to Put Alcohol Into Sealed Water Bottles
Summer season is upon us, and for millions of our fellow alcoholics out there, we’re going to assume you’ll be smuggling vodka in water bottles to pretty much every event you’re going to.
Whether it’s a cruise or a funeral, you don’t want pesky security sniffing out your containers — so here’s your summer crash course on getting alcohol into sealed water bottles.
Enjoy the tutorial, and it goes without saying, rage responsibly:
This Restaurant Serves A Calamari Steak Parm And It’s Beautiful
Even when he’s on vacation, Foodbeast Costa never really takes his finger off the pulse. The resident food scientist discovered a seafood restaurant in Monterey, CA, serving a unique take on chicken parmesan.
Monterey Fish House replaces the chicken with a hearty piece of calamari steak.
Once known as the Sardine Capital of the World, the seafood industry of Monterey is actually primarily calamari. Pretty much every restaurant offers some kind of iteration of the squid on their menu.
In the case of Monterey Fish house, a large Mexican Squid steak is breaded, grilled, and prepared parmesan style — with both the calamari cutlet, eggplant, and some pasta and vegetables on the side. A hearty portion of marinara and parmesan cheese sits at the top of the entree.
15 Ways to Sneak Alcohol into a Music Festival (or Anywhere)
The tent is packed up in the back of your Subaru, you have your hottest flower crown on, man bun in tow, and your ray ban glasses perched atop your nose, I don’t know, pick a thing. But sadly no precious booze is allowed in that music fest…but you don’t accept that, and you shouldn’t have to. The ability to get boozy while listening to your favorite live music should be a basic human right. Well don’t worry fellow concert goers I’ve picked up a few tricks in my ramblin’ gal days and I’m here to share my sneaky tricks with the masses. Just enjoy responsibly and don’t get caught!
1. Sunscreen & Lotion Bottles – Apply liberally into bloodstream
Although this secret flask is becoming a little more mainstream and some security channels have caught on, I think it is still always a worthy attempt. Being in the blistering sun all day is trying on the skin, bring your extremely light skin friend so there is a justifiable reason to have fifty bottles whether you are going into Disneyland, on a cruise ship, or at a festival. Works like a charm. You can either make your own sunscreen flask by cleaning out an empty lotion bottle you’ve actually used (just make sure to wash thoroughly or you may end up sick, because chemicals and stuff), or you can buy a set that is all ready to be filled with some drank. We prefer buying the set, because really, who wants their rum to taste like Coppertone?
2. Water Bottles – The classic switcheroo
A genuine tried and true classic, on the list of ways to sneak alcohol this one is always a fan favorite. The water/vodka switcheroo has been around as long as the World’s Fair, a fact that probably isn’t true, but in a perfect world totally would be. Looking to up your game? Grab a case of bottled H2O, select a few bottles at random and either drink or carelessly pour it out, maybe water your flower crown. Fill the new empties with some clear liquor and reseal the bottles using the technique above. To ensure that you don’t mistakenly chug a mouthful of vodka instead of water and/or spike your lemonade with water, mark the bottom of the alcohol filled bottles with tiny X’s or hearts or smiley faces.
3. Football “Accidentally” Thrown over the Fence
Wow you have such bad aim…or do you? Fill it up and toss this sneaky football flask over the fence into some nearby trees at the concert. Have a friend sneakily pick it up, or go pick it up after you get in the gate. Once you’ve made it over the fence no one will be the wiser, twist this football open to reveal the true prize. A hidden liquor compartment for sneaking your favorite booze into the concert. Talk about the best invention ever! This secret flask also comes in handy at football games or other sporting events when that luke warm Coors Light just won’t do.
4. Cigar Flask – Sneak your liquor AND cigars in
The cigar flask is the unsung hero of the sneaky booze craze. Da real MVP if you will. My favorite strategy in particular is placing the flask(s) into a Pringles cannister. The unsuspecting security guards will think you’re just satisfying your junk food cravings and not totally using its contents for your boozy cravings instead. If anyone asks, they’ve started making liquid potato chips, they are just too un-hip to even know. Other sneaky tips on using these flasks:
- Under your floppy straw hat
- In your Dr. Marten’s boot
- Rolled in a yoga mat
- Front pocket of your overalls
- Duct taped to the back of a glittery homemade sign
- Knotted inside a messy man bun
5. Gummy Bears – Gummies will leave them dummies
What is better than candy and liquor? I can’t think of anything either. This one is a fun way to sneak alcohol into a festival but also doubles as a fun party trick, but it does take a few days of prep. All you have to do is grab a bag of gummy bears and a bottle of your booze of choice (vodka seems to be popular). Place those alcoholic little bears into a glass container and fill the container with vodka so it is equal to the gummy bears. Cover with cling wrap and place in the fridge for three days. An occasional check up is a good idea, I recommend stirring them to avoid sticking otherwise you might just end up with a huge vodka infused gummy clump. Enjoy these responsibly because they’ll hit ya in the liver pretty fast. Imbibing too much in gummy bears will lead to this…
6. Camelback – Carry your burdens on your back
While I wouldn’t recommend this for a run or backpacking adventure, fill your camelback with clear liquor. I mean you have to be hydrated right? This trick is pretty awesome in that it essentially just becomes your own personal booze on tap situation. You’ll quickly become the cool guy or gal with the vodka dispenser. Just don’t let all the love feed your ego, this will promptly bring tons of attention to you and your “vodkaback” will be immediately thrown out of the show.